A love letter to my non-Jewish husband

This isn’t a typical love letter, but writing is my love language, and this is my way of thanking my husband for standing up for me and our children, for my family and for all Jewish people faced with the worst antisemitism in our lifetime.

Fate brought the two of us together during one of the most peaceful periods in history when he, a Perth-born, Anglican-raised atheist, and I, a non-religious Orthodox Jew from South Africa, met at a mutual friend’s party in 1998.

I was an idealistic film and TV student with a nose ring, and he wasn’t like the party-hard guys I knew in Perth. A few years ahead of me, he was more reserved, a non-drinking footy player who’d broken a shin before starting his first corporate job. I didn’t think he was my type or that we had much in common, so it was a surprise when he asked our friend for my number and called the next day to invite me out.

He arrived on crutches to pick me up for our first date, still in his work suit. My mum answered the door and raced inside, gushing “he’s an Adonis!” under her breath like an excited schoolgirl. I hadn’t noticed this at the dimly lit party, and it would take several dates for him to grow on me. As it turns out, there’s nothing more attractive than someone who knows their worth and walks to their own beat.

But the last year has been uniquely distressing for our family in the wake of October 7. Our proudly Jewish son has faced persistent antisemitism at high school, despite attempts to educate the students who’ve targeted him on 12 different occasions. As one of the only Jewish students at his school, it’s been isolating for him and painful for us, knowing that our children cannot be shielded from today’s virulent version of this ancient hatred.

After the last antisemitic incident, we met with school administrators to discuss how to tackle this issue effectively and with sensitivity during a time of conflict, in a way that can bring people together and build bridges, rather than driving them further apart.