Published: 19 March 2025
Last updated: 20 March 2025
In October 2024, Israeli author Yael Neeman published Were You Good or Were You Bad?, a book that delves into the history and profound effects of communal child-rearing in kibbutzim.
Neeman’s starting point was a pivotal Haaretz article by Vered Levy Barzilai entitled, The Accusation: A Cruel Experiment on Thousands of Children. The article featured an interview with Nachshon (Sean) Goltz, who was born and raised in Kibbutz Ruhama, and described kibbutz communal child-rearing as a “cruel psychological experiment”.
“This may evolve into a class action that will shake generations of kibbutz members," read the opening line of the Haaretz article, which was first published in December 2000.
"But even if not, this is a serious public indictment: Nachshon Goltz, born in Kibbutz Ruhama, is planning on suing the kibbutz movement for committing a psychological experiment on thousands of children with disastrous results – they became emotionally crippled, without a family or a home, lacking identity, and sometimes victims of sexual abuse.
"Anyone growing up in Israel knows Goltz is not speaking only for himself.”
These allegations led to a claim against the Israeli state, which had allowed the kibbutzim to become the legal guardian of children instead of their own parents, contradicting guardianship laws.
"Goltz’s theory is a monumental moment in the public discourse on kibbutz child-rearing."
Anthropologist Tama Halfin
But the legal action was dismissed by a judge who was concerned about broader implications — particularly the precedent that could see every boarding school child sue the state. Nevertheless, the Haaretz article and the lawsuit made a significant public impact.
Anthropologist Tama Halfin described the magnitude of Goltz’s theory as “a monumental moment in the public discourse on kibbutz child-rearing,” stating that Goltz’s terminology and assumptions have since formed the basis of every discussion on the topic.
Goltz, now 56 and a senior lecturer in the school of business and law at Edith Cowan University in Perth – where he has lived since 2018 – still carries the trauma of his upbringing.
'The effects are still ongoing'
Speaking to The Jewish Independent, Goltz said “they experimented on me. Not just me, but thousands of us, and the effects are still ongoing”.
Goltz describes how, as a primary-school-aged child, he and his peers only spent four hours a day with their parents, who were referred to by their first names and not ‘mum’ or ‘dad’.
"Out of 24 hours in a day, I was with [my parents] for only three or four. For the rest, we were left to ourselves."
Nachshon Goltz
This, he argues, symbolised a deeper emotional detachment: “What are parents? Does the fact that two people gave birth to a child make them parents? Out of 24 hours in a day, I was with [my parents] for only three or four. For the rest, we were left to ourselves.
“Until high school, we would leave the kibbutz only twice a year. We were cut off. Because my kibbutz was small, there was a two-year gap between the kids in my group. When you sleep and shower together, you can imagine the traumas that are created.”
Leaving kibbutzim vulnerable to October 7
Goltz believes the communal sleeping arrangements in kibbutzim led to further disconnection from traditional family structures.
He argues this breakdown contributed to the decline of the kibbutz movement’s influence in Israeli society and ultimately left those communities vulnerable during the October 7 Hamas attacks.
"On October 7, the kibbutzim were hit the hardest," Goltz explained.
"The reason for this is the trauma of the second and third generations who grew up with shared sleeping and left the kibbutzim. From my year group of 18 children, only two or three still live in the kibbutz today, and even they returned after a long period. They all left because they were not willing to raise their children the way they themselves were raised — and the trauma remained even after the practice of communal child rearing stopped.
"The moment the kibbutz children did not return after the army as adults, the kibbutz movement lost its relevance — from the state's perspective and from a practical perspective. This resulted in no special interest in protecting them, and as they lost relevance, settlers took the lead in Israeli society, with their support of the occupation contributing to the events of October 7."
Goltz contends that the Israeli state approved the 'experiment' because it served its interests, among them producing good soldiers. However, the kibbutz's goal was to create a new kind of person — one best suited to the socialist communal life of the kibbutz.
Goltz believes the experiment ultimately failed because it went against human nature, leaving many former kibbutz children emotionally-stunted and disconnected from basic human concepts including home, family and love.
"This was one of the biggest child-rearing experiments of the 21st century, and it should never have happened."
Nachshon Goltz
After a long personal journey, Goltz now feels like the 'new person' the experiment was trying to create, but on his own terms. He says he has developed a balanced approach to money and work; reclaimed his Judaism which was suppressed in the kibbutz; and embraced parenting in a way he never experienced as a child.
He is grateful for the renewed attention that Neeman’s book has brought to the subject of communal sleeping in kibbutzim, and is currently translating her book into English so it can reach more people.
"My story is not unique, and my feelings strike a chord with many who grew up in similar conditions. This was one of the biggest child-rearing experiments of the 21st century, and it should never have happened. There is a lot to learn from this experience."
Comments3
Gabriel Litmanovitz28 March at 04:01 am
I am not sure the person who wrote this fully understands the term “experimet”. Did anyone try to prove a theory ? Did anyone made any measurments, observation ? Was there a control group ? And to write that it affected the event on the 7th of October ? It all finally ended in 1990 (in some places even before that). People like to blame their parents for any problem they might have. Mr/ Goltz is blaming the Kibbutz.
Michal27 March at 08:18 am
Well said Rachel.
It was not an “experiment” but a communal way of life. Agree with it or not, after WWII, many Holocaust survivors who helped establish Kibbutzim decided to live in a communal society where everything was considered “shared”, from their income to their personal belongings and even to the children.
By the 1990s, most Kibbutzim changed from raising the kids in children houses to the parents.
The Kibbutzim have adapted with the times.
The past children houses weren’t good for everyone, obviously, but many children flourished there. It developed independance.
I haven’t checked the numbers, but it’s a general feeling that there were more elite IDF soliders from kibbutzim during the days of communial living than there are today where kids are raised in their parents’ homes.
Now this may seem like a strange way to measure a society, but here in Israel, where most people serve in the army, it’s a standard way to measure different sub sectors here.
Rachel Sussman21 March at 10:24 am
Why is it that we must always blame?
Being born in Israel in 1950 and growing up there, I had many friends in the kibbutzim, even some of my cousins. Of course kibbutz life did not suit everyone, some loved it others did not. I served in the Army with many from the kibbutz and whilst some said they ‘loved’ it others said they would prefer it to be otherwise. But to say that the state purposefully used it as an ‘experiment’ seems really brutal. The kibbutz movement was established by citizens themselves who believed in it – like Ben Gurion – it was not forced upon anyone, it was a choice to join a kibbutz or not… We must certainly learn where something works well or not so well and make corrections. And the kibbutzim became aware of the possible short-coming of youngsters living together rather than with their parents. Indeed in most kibbutzim now children stay with parents up to teen-age and after this they can chose whether they want to stay with their parents or ‘move’ in with other teen agers in the kibbutz.
I assure you that growing up in Israel in the very early 50’s was tough in many ways, as it is bound to be in a State just born and when the bulk of its citizens – including my family – were refugees coming from all corners of the globe and each with his/her ‘bag of trauma’.
Of course many of these conditions impacted on me as they did on everyone in my generation (we often talk about it), but I assure you that I would not dream thinking ‘I was experimented’ with, not think about suing the State who was trying to somehow construct itself, and if I had a choice – I will do it all over again, and will not want to be born or grow up anywhere else!