Published: 25 October 2022
Last updated: 5 March 2024
Counsellor observes the difficulty Arab women have enjoying sex and why Arab men are shyer than Jews.
She is 37 years old, single and still lives with her parents in the northern Arab village of Deir Hanna, 10 minutes from Karmiel. She spends hours on the country’s roads every day. She’s hasn’t yet started freezing her eggs as she’s well aware of the challenges a Muslim Arab single mother would face.
After three and half years of training at the Center for Sexual Medicine at Sheba Medical Center, she’s now Israel’s first Arab sex therapist.
“Arab society has no sex education and doesn’t prepare brides. There’s a huge emphasis on the hymen, the wedding night’s red sheet and family honour. Even your body isn’t really your own. Your body belongs to the whole family and the whole village. If you do anything before your wedding, you’ll be bringing shame on everyone. On your wedding night, you become ‘hallal’ permitted. You’re married. But how can you put aside everything you’ve been taught and become a sexual being wanting to enjoy sex?”
"Arab women generally come for advice at Sheba after four or five years of marriage, when they’re closed up and can’t even think about penetration. If they’re brave enough to turn to doctors or gynecologists, they generally get useless answers like 'you’re just being difficult.' Women are made to feel guilty. There are doctors who tell men: ‘Don’t give in. She doesn’t have any kind of organic problem. It’s all in her head,' negating the woman’s pain. It’s terrible.”
Arab men are more commonly bothered by declining sex drive as they age.
“Arab men are also much shyer than Jewish men. They don’t go off to reserve duty. They’re not used to ‘man-talk’ and they’re not used to sharing their problems.”
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Meet Israel’s first Arab sex therapist (Ynet)
Photo: Arab-style bed (Don Pedro Design)
