Published: 25 February 2026
Last updated: 27 February 2026
My name is Deni. I use they/them pronouns, I’m almost 38 and I’ve “come out” more times than most. At 19 I came out to family as gay and at 32, I came out to the world as non-binary. I’m currently halfway through the process of converting to Judaism and in God’s timing, will eventually come out – as Jewish.
However, today I come out publicly as a Zionist – perhaps my most terrifying coming out experience thus far.
Let me explain. I was born Serbian-Orthodox and later raised Jehovah’s Witness. Believing in God was not an option in my family, it was a way of life. I read the Bible daily, attended services three times a week, and prayed to God four times a day – for a decade. There was just one minor issue. I was gay.
The version of God sold to me, was one that despised my identity. For 10 years I prayed for my gay to go-away, pleading with God to rid me of this “sin”. I suppressed it until I couldn’t. After coming out to my family, I knew that I could no longer practice my faith. There were no loopholes for homosexuality in our Christianity, so I stopped praying altogether and carried Christian guilt.
Shame aside, coming out was both terrifying and thrilling. The initial chaos made way for relief, my parent’s grief made way for allyship and the gates to the all-consuming gay world opened. However, I always felt like something was missing. I felt untethered. Prayer was once my lifeline, God once my best friend – and suddenly I lost both.
So, I threw every ounce of myself into my new identity and its culture. One rich with history, rainbows and pulsating dance floors, soundtracked to Kylie Minogue. Life, however, has a way of coming at you hard and fast. It’s no coincidence that people often fall to their knees in moments of darkness – praying for divine intervention. Four years after coming out, I began to pray again. Whilst I wasn’t sure God would listen, I spoke anyway.
Comments4
Suzy13 March at 04:12 am
Dan- with respect, I ask you genuinely have you actually been to Israel? 20% of the population are Arab Muslims. I saw more people of colour there then I ever have in Melbourne.
Please do not have the arrogance to “zionismsplain” what zionism is and isnt to Jews and Zionists. Deni would have more of an idea than the average person considering that they have been attending classes.
Leah26 February at 10:56 pm
Dan – this idea of whether being Jewish is a religion or an ethnicity pretends that these concepts are real things in the world. In fact, they are modern categories and both of them post-date the concept of Jews as a people. There are other ways of thinking and being in the world – peoplehood is its own concept and WE get to define who we are as a group. Conversion and descent are both pathways to being Jewish, going back thousands of years. The argument for Israel (whether you agree with it or not) does not hinge on some kind of narrowly racial ‘ethnic’ categorisation.
Dan25 February at 11:03 pm
2/2 The writer states their belief “that Palestinians deserve safety, peace and liberation – from Hamas”, demonstrating their deliberately narrow view of the conflict. Palestinians in the West Bank do not need “liberation from Hamas” who have next to no presence in the WB. Instead Palestinians suffer an existential threat of daily attacks from the writer’s fellow Zionists in the IDF and far-right Israeli settlers. The majority of Jews in Israel and globally support ethnically cleansing of these Palestinians from the WB as they believe “Judea and Samaria” are theirs by biblical right. Indeed in a recent poll 48% of Israeli Jews even supported ethnically cleansing Israeli Arabs.
The writer may claim that they don’t support this but by supporting “Zionism” you support the existence of a state that enforces this grossly unequal system.
This is because in Israel every major political faction opposes freedom for Palestinians who have suffered under decades of military occupation. Even the so-called Israeli left-wing party Democrats (currently polling at 5%) now oppose a 2 state solution “at this time” and instead support military occupation for the foreseeable future. There is no legitimate popular movement within Zionism calling for equal rights or liberation for Palestinians.