Speedy Shatari: a leader for LGBTQ+ visibility

We talk about words like inclusion and accessibility a lot in our community. What do these words mean to you?

Inclusion and accessibility mean entering an environment free of barriers. Similarly, inclusion involves creating a space where everyone feels accepted and valued, allowing them to fully participate in all experiences.

I want to be able to show up in any space, and not just be tolerated, but be embraced and strengthened by my identity or abilities.

What does inclusion look like in the Jewish community right now?

Inclusion currently involves funding programs and projects for young LGBTQ+ individuals, demonstrating leadership, and promoting diversity. It also means taking a public stance against harmful behaviors towards the queer community.

For instance, the NSW Jewish Board of Deputies publicly opposed LGBTQ+ conversion practices and advocated for banning them a few years ago. JewishCare NSW has a youth program with LGBTQ+ mentors, and Jewish Care Victoria received the Rainbow Tick accreditation, which is such a good show of faith and investment in the LGBTQ+ community.

Our Jewish community has a significant number of LGBTQ+ individuals, and historically, we haven't always been the most accepting. But in recent years, we've made considerable progress. As a cultural community, we're definitely improving.

I think within all faith-based communities, if you're part of a more conservative crowd, you’ll find similar challenges for LGBTQ+ and gender diverse people – and you'll also find your niches, which provide a more welcoming space.

What are some of the biggest challenges facing the LGBTQ+ community in Australia?

One of the main issues is complacency. I speak to various organisations – corporates, non-profits, Jewish community groups – and many folks say, "Why are we doing this? We’re already quite inclusive". Others see these topics in the media and think, "Haven’t we done enough for these people?".

It’s important to remember that progress doesn’t mean the absence of challenges. The LGBTQ+ and gender diverse community still faces many issues, such as discrimination, access to gender-affirming care, and, importantly, safety. For any community, whether cultural, ethnic, or LGBTQ+, safety is a massive concern. If we can enhance someone’s safety by increasing understanding – much like the Jewish community works to combat antisemitism – why wouldn’t we do that for LGBTQ+ people?

I grew up in the modern Orthodox Jewish community, and I’ve remained part of it. You might be surprised, but I attend Newtown Synagogue and have a seat in the men's section. The rabbi there is phenomenal.

Wow, that is massive!

Absolutely. I can walk into a modern Orthodox space, be present within my community, and not feel uncomfortable. Personally, I wouldn't mind having a non-binary section, but opinions vary – some find it more inclusive, while others see it as isolating.

Growing up in a conservative community, you often ask for permission and wait for others to accept you before you can accept yourself. In the Jewish community, we could do more to understand what others might be going through. Even if you don’t identify as LGBTQ+, many can relate to feeling judged in other ways, like having a non-Jewish partner. We all want to feel accepted by the community we love.

Have there been other instances where you’ve had to make such a strong stance around your Jewish and LGBTQ+ identities? 

I find that I exist within this Venn diagram. You’ve got my LGBTQ+ and gender identity, and then you’ve got my cultural Jewishness. 

For a long time, I didn't think they could coexist. I've found that sometimes the Jewish community doesn't understand my LGBTQ+ identity and vice versa, which has left me with such a small space to exist safely and to be understood. It has been really isolating.

It's a shame because I wish both communities were more open. I think we're getting there within the Jewish community – we’re becoming more open, we’re wanting to understand, like my rabbi. That's a beautiful thing because that's only going to lead to people continuing being part of the Jewish community. 

I remember a modern Orthodox rabbi said to me the other day, "Who is Torah for?". For a long time, I didn't think that Torah was for me because I didn't adhere to the traditional norms of what Judaism as an upbringing told me. The rabbi said, "Speedy, as soon as you stop engaging with Torah, that's when you lose it". I thought I would somehow disrupt or disturb Judaism for being me.

You developed a pioneering LGBTQ+ Jewish mentorship program. Tell me about how this initiative came to life.

That was a fantastic initiative, which I spearheaded with Josh Kirsh. We saw there was a niche and we wanted younger people to have older role models within the LGBTQ+ community, because if you see yourself in the future, it's a lot easier to imagine what your life will be, or what you want for your life, or that everything will work out okay.

The Jewish Communal Appeal (JCA) gave us a $10,000 grant for the program. The fact that a well-respected community organisation provided funding helped it to trickle down to other Jewish community organisations. Once we know something is accepted by a reputable organisation or source, it's easier for general community members to get on board, and that’s what happened.

We had about 20 participants for our first cohort in 2022. Today, it has disintegrated in the sense of a mentorship program: it was passed to JewishCare NSW, and a couple of the mentors are still involved, but it’s a broader offering now.

Post October 7, there’s a massive need to house a queer, gender diverse and inclusive Jewish group. That is something I’m looking to develop in the future through my organisation, Speedy Speaking.

What is Speedy Speaking? 

It is my pride and joy. I get a lot of nachas out of it. Essentially, it came about because of this intersectionality I hold.

I wanted to facilitate more education within the Jewish community, and to be able to show up and unpack questions such as: What does LGBTQ+ mean? How do you use pronouns? For organisations striving to be more inclusive, what practical changes can they implement?

I want younger folk to come into our Jewish organisations and feel like they want to be part of them, because I do. I love our Australian Jewish community – we’re extremely strong, and to make people feel more comfortable would only enhance that.

I also want as many people as possible to hear my lived experience and story, and to see that I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do and fulfilled my dreams, not despite my identities, but in strength of them. I want parents, siblings, grandparents to be able to hear my story, and if their loved one comes out into the LGBTQ+ community, they know to treat them with more kindness and understanding.

It took me time to get here, and so I would just love to make that journey a little bit easier for someone else.

What makes your connection with the Jewish community so strong? 

I grew up in a traditional Jewish family that observed certain customs like separating milk and meat, not eating pork, and celebrating Shabbat every Friday. These practices, while not overly strict or highly progressive, formed a strong Jewish foundation for me.

My educational journey further shaped my connection to Judaism. I attended Mount Sinai College and then I went to Rose Bay Secondary College, a non-Jewish day school. During this time, I was actively involved with BJE [NSW Board of Jewish Education], akin to Victoria’s UJEB [United Jewish Education Board].

BJE became like my youth movement – a pluralistic environment that allowed me to be myself. While my family and Mount Sinai initiated my Jewish journey, BJE played a pivotal role in nurturing it during my formative years. My experience visiting Israel further deepened my love and connection to the Jewish community.

How did growing up in a conservative Jewish home fit with your gender identity?

At first, it clashed. I came out at 16 and struggled with how I would fit into the Jewish community where expectations often revolved around girls wearing skirts and marrying boys. This path didn't feel like mine. I was always dressing up as Batman… it wasn’t like I changed!

Looking back, I thought, how did no one know? Why did I have to figure this out for myself? It just wasn't the norm, and it was initially really hard. You risk losing people you love in your life, and that’s something that’s not always in your control.

It wasn't until I found a community of other LGBTQ+ Jewish people that I realised I wasn't alone. I learned that being true to myself is normal and that I can still be a part of the Jewish community while being authentic. I didn't want to sacrifice one identity for the other – I couldn’t, both were a massive part of me.

Finding community and people who affirm you is invaluable. A modern Orthodox rabbi in Sydney told me once, "If you're authentic and show up as yourself, that's the best thing that you can do for yourself and for your community".

So initially, it clashed, but with time I learned that my identities could coexist.

It was International Non-Binary People's Day on July 14. As someone who identifies as non-binary, you use the pronouns they/them. What do pronouns mean to you?

Using my pronouns shows me that you see me for who I am. Everyone wants to be seen. If you use the correct pronouns, for me, it's like getting my name right – it affirms my identity and shows acceptance of my authentic self.

What advice would you give to someone who is struggling to understand or use pronouns correctly?

It’s a significant mindset shift, but the use of singular they/them pronouns has been around for generations. It's not new, but it can feel like learning a new language. It takes practice and an openness to something unfamiliar.

Many people already use these terms without realising it. For example, if someone leaves their wallet on the ground without an ID, you wouldn’t assume their gender – you'd likely say, "they left their wallet". It’s only when we recognise stereotypical gender cues that we default to assumed pronouns.

It's not always easy, but remember, it's not about you. If you get it wrong or tell someone their pronouns are ‘too hard’, it’s like saying they’re an inconvenience. If you make a mistake, correct yourself and move on.

It’s okay to make mistakes. What matters is showing that you’re trying. Making someone feel more comfortable and included in your home or organisation is a true blessing.

You’ve held several roles across the Jewish community, including currently working as General Manager of Programs and Engagement at non-profit Stand Up. What does social justice mean to you?

To me, social justice is about improving the lives of others so they can be their authentic selves. If I can make someone’s day better, safer, happier, more comfortable, and more understood, that’s such a win.