What will I tell my daughter?

I recently attended a beautiful and touching memorial between the Australian Jewish, Hindu and Iranian community. While there, I noticed a girl draped in an Israeli flag to my right. She could not have been older than my seven-year-old daughter. I burst into tears, unable to hold in the emotions culminating from almost two years of sadness and fear. 

I thought about my naive and proud Jewish princess. She thinks being Jewish is remarkable. She's never heard, let alone understood, the term antisemitism. But soon she will. And then what am I to tell her? 

Until October 7, I thought Jews in Israel and the IDF were untouchable. That worries about antisemitism were, crude as it may sound, the paranoid obsessions of Holocaust survivors. That Judaism and Zionism could be separated. That most critics of Israel weren't antisemitic. But now I’m not so sure. 

My daughter attends JLearn, an incredible before-school Jewish studies class. Each Monday, as we're rushing to school post class, she beams with pride as she tells me of her latest discoveries about her Australian Jewish identity. Just last week, she excitedly shared her learnings about Esther Abrahams, a Jewish woman who came to Australia on the First Fleet. 

Last term, my daughter’s public primary school celebrated Harmony Day. The students were encouraged to come in their cultural dress. My daughter couldn't wait to draw a magen david on each of her rosy cheeks. Then she asked if she could drape herself in the Israeli flag.

I turned to my mum, and we switched to Hebrew to discuss, as we do whenever we don't want my daughter to understand. Ze lo raayon tov – it’s not a good idea – we agreed.

I breathed a sigh of relief when my daughter ultimately rejected my mother’s flag. She said it did not look like a magen david was meant to, because there was a yellow ribbon in the middle. Little did she know that ribbon represents over 1200 victims and dozens still held hostage. 

Upon arrival at school, I saw one of her classmates adorned in an Israeli flag that reached past his knees. “Wow. Weren't you worried?” I asked the boy’s mum. She said she and her Israeli husband were terrified, but their boy was determined to proudly show off his identity. 

I've found myself endlessly reading "how to talk to children about antisemitism" articles online, to prepare myself for when the moment of questioning inevitably arises. 

While I am by no means an expert, here are some of the key strategies I've learned about discussing antisemitism and October 7 with children under eight-years-old. I hope they help you too.

Possibly the most challenging aspect is addressing October 7 itself. You can say, "There was a very sad and scary event where some people were hurt because of hate. It made a lot of people feel very upset and worried. We don’t need to know all the scary details, but it’s important to know that when people hurt others because of hate, it’s very wrong".

There are also picture books that can help deal with these challenges, including The Christmas Mitzvah, Red and Green and Blue and White, and Golem.

So when my daughter finally does ask, what will I do?

First, I will hold her tight and tell her that I love her and that she is safe.

Then, I will tell her that Jews and their achievements throughout history are nothing short of remarkable. 

And that unfortunately with that success, can come jealousy and scorn. 

And that she can always reach out if she has any negative experiences or feels afraid. 

And that history is unfortunately likely to repeat itself again and again, but that we will rise, as we always do.