Owning the problems in Jewish schools is necessary for change

It’s not easy to call out bad behaviour in a tight-knit community, as NOMI KALTMANN learned when she reported parents' experiences of special needs kids in Jewish schools.

“Hey Nomi. I'm enjoying your articles but ...” started the message I received in response to my latest column about families pulling their children with additional needs out of Jewish schools in Melbourne.

I am used to receiving feedback on my pieces, but my article about Jewish schools in Melbourne who are either unable or unwilling to accommodate Jewish children with additional needs hit a nerve. My inbox was overflowing with feedback, and many people took the time to message me on social media or text message to let me know they had read my piece.

Why did this article go semi-viral?

I think it’s because the exclusion that occurs at some Jewish schools in Melbourne has been happening for a long time, but there are very few people willing to call it out. In a tightknit community, it’s not easy to be the one to call out bad behaviour in beloved institutions, where people have strong feelings and deep emotional and nostalgic connections.

And in our community, there is a general feeling that we should highlight the good and not focus on the negative. I love highlighting beautiful things in our community, including writing in this very publication about the great work Jewish Aussies are doing in supporting young people with disability or supporting those who are sick and in hospital.

And yet, a failure of policy that results in Jewish children feeling unwelcome in Jewish schools is an important (and sensitive) topic that deserves attention, even if it does not highlight the best of the community.

One of the messages critiquing my reporting noted that “Jewish day schools spend millions helping families out; it's a shame your article didn't reference this and understand how expensive it is. And there is no additional charge for families who benefit from this support”.

I am not denying that Jewish schools do their best in some cases, but rather, my piece focused on the fact that there is a group of children who want to be at Jewish schools but due to their additional needs, were not made to feel welcome or included.

Writing an opinion piece is a fine art and within 800 words I am limited to focusing on the story at hand. Including every detail which makes Jewish day schools look favourable to “balance” a piece that’s about their shortcomings is simply not possible.

The focus of my piece was not about the way Jewish schools spend money to include children. It was focused on the fact that there are families whose children were excluded and were forced to send their children to public schools. These public schools, with significantly less resources than prestigious private Jewish schools, have been much more accommodating and inclusive towards their children.

While I noted this was not necessarily widespread, there were enough stories from enough parents from a range of backgrounds and schools to indicate this was not as isolated and unusual as some people think.

Another consistent piece of feedback was that I included LGBQTI+ children in my piece about kids with additional needs. As one person told me, “I don’t think LGBQTI+ issues and kids with special needs are related. You should have kept the issues separate.”

I don’t agree. Both sets of issues involve extra consideration for the students.

The crux of my article was that within Jewish schools in Melbourne, there is only a small bandwidth of student that some schools feel equipped to deal with. I highlighted the many challenges that families who have children with additional needs face from a bureaucracy that seems disinclined to accept their children who are in the “too hard basket”.

Among children who don’t fix into the box, there were many parallels between the experiences of children who are members of the LGBQTI+ community and kids with additional needs. In both cases, children were excluded because they required assistance from Jewish schools that schools could not easily accommodate. And once it became too hard, parents often felt unwelcome.

There was also positive feedback from my piece. I had many fruitful conversations with parents of children with special needs who finally felt “seen,” as one person told me. “I’m glad this conversation is finally happening. Someone should hold Jewish schools to account.”

Lastly, the best part of this undertaking was knowing that it reached the administrators and principals. Parents let me know they had forwarded it to administrators who had excluded their children, showing them they were on notice.

Whether readers loved my investigation or loathed it, I am glad this conversation is happening - and hope it may lead to a change in the status quo.

Graphic: Avi Katz