Saying ‘I do’ to a Jewish civil ceremony

A rising number of Jewish couples are choosing to ditch a traditional religious wedding in favour of a civil ceremony that is culturally Jewish. RUBY KRANER-TUCCI reports.

Nicole Rozen was “adamant not to go the traditional route” when it came to marrying her husband Gavin in March.

The couple, who live in Caulfield, had been together for almost a decade before they decided to tie the knot. Both identify strongly as Jewish, but, in their mid-50s and both having been married previously, they didn’t want a religious wedding. Instead, they had a Jewish civil ceremony that acknowledged their beliefs and better reflected their shared history.

“Being older and wiser this time, we wanted our ceremony to be modern and represent who we are as a couple,” Rozen explained. “I made our union about equality with less fanfare and more soul. It was a civil ceremony only, with a bit of Yiddishkeit thrown in.”

The couple chose a Jewish celebrant to conduct the ceremony and opted for a seaside venue on the fringes of Melbourne’s Jewish community, at the Brighton Baths. Gavin still broke the glass and his family recited the Sheva Brachot.

The result was a big day that starkly contrasted with Rozen’s first wedding– a traditional religious ceremony, complete with a rabbi, synagogue and lengthy prayers that she says felt “alien” to her connection with Judaism.

“I had a rabbi telling me what to do; I had to walk seven times around my husband; outdated rebbetzin lessons; and a mikvah that simply did not align with my personal belief system. I felt it was all thrown on me in order to marry in a shul,” she reflected.

Keren Loyer, a Melbourne-based civil celebrant who married the Rozens, has performed more than 1000 weddings for Jewish couples since 2009.

She says there has been a “big shift” towards modern Jewish weddings, with a growing number of couples choosing a civil ceremony that incorporates selective and meaningful Jewish traditions and symbols.