Jews have lived experience: listen to our fear

Most people who’ve been to therapy know the rule about the word “should”. It always needs to be unpacked. Who says you “should” do something? Why “should” you? 

As a woman, I don’t feel safe walking on the street late at night on my own. This lack of safety isn’t predicated on nothing. It’s based on years of being harassed on the basis of my gender, friends who’ve been attacked on the basis of their gender and story after story in the media about women being harassed or attacked on the streets all over the world, including in Australia. 

I’ve had men argue that I “shouldn’t” feel unsafe, that there’s no reason for me to feel unsafe, it’s an irrational fear and unfounded. Does this make me feel safe or safer? Of course not. It makes me feel unseen and dismissed. Because this lack of safety is based on my own trauma and my own experience. It’s something a man might try to understand but will never fully understand in the same way that I do. Just like I will never understand what it’s like to use a urinal. But I digress.   

In October last year, I went to a book launch for my dear friend, Josh Bornstein. It was just a few days short of the anniversary of the October 7 attacks and he was asked a question by the audience about the safety of Australian Jews and whether there was basis for that fear - whether we "should" feel fearful. The answer he gave resonated with me and has most days since. 

He observed that it’s not for anyone else to say whether those fears are founded or unfounded. If someone feels unsafe taking part in public discourse because of their ethnicity or culture, in going to their place of work or study or venturing into public places with their families, that is a problem for us all. 

It should go without saying but I will state it anyway: whether Jewish, Aboriginal, Muslim or from any other minority or marginalised group, everyone in this country has a right to feel safe engaging in public life.