Published: 20 October 2025
Last updated: 29 October 2025
Education and success are two core values in Jewish culture. While I'm privileged to have received tuition at a private Jewish day school, I'm also still recovering from the teacher's-pet-slash-chronic-over-achieving-slash-people-pleasing syndrome that more often than not afflicts ‘nice Jewish girls’.
I’m not saying that being instilled with a motivation to succeed and having a sense of ambition are not good cultural values. I also appreciate that they stem from our ancestors' trauma, who throughout history have had to be self-sufficient and self-reliant in order to survive. It makes sense that faffing about and making mistakes are not rewarded attributes. Especially today, given how fraught it is to be Jewish, it feels like we're all striving extra hard to be considered good and worthy members of the diaspora.
But up until now, at 34 years old, I’ve tried to be the student and young professional that I thought was good and right – and that would result in admiration and respect from my family, peers and community. Today, I’m finally learning what being successful, fulfilled and happy means to me.
Your job and career matter, but they are only one facet of your life.
For a while, I was ashamed to admit that I dropped out of a Bachelor Arts and Science degree (rather, I failed a whole semester and was gently uninvited to return the following year). While I ended up graduating from a degree I loved (International Studies) – after adding a Master of Teaching to my lovely HECS debt, I realised that teaching wasn’t for me.
Three career changes later – from education to marketing and now public relations – I’ve finally found my calling and what I’m good at (who knew my natural chutzpah would be a career asset!).
If I could go back in time, I’d share these 18 lessons with my 20-something self about finding your career calling, not letting your soul be destroyed at work, and trusting your gut. I hope they help you too.
1. Do not let your parents, extended family, community or friends give you their advice on what you should do. They love you and want the best for you, but only you know what you enjoy, what you can and cannot tolerate, and what you are good at. If you are truly unsure, consult with a career counsellor (I did).
2. If you are ever unhappy in your job or career, you are not married to it for life, you have the self-determination to do something else. Your job and career matter, but they are only one facet of your life. If you need a reminder, take ‘The Death Bed Test’. Trust me.
3. Your 20s and 30s are about figuring out serious stuff like your career, but don’t forget to schedule time for creative pursuits that have nothing to do with your resume. I have done improv comedy, collage workshops, salsa dancing and I’m about to try life drawing and burlesque.
4. Remember, you know more than you give yourself credit for. Read that again.
5. On being the token Jew: In all but one workplace, I’ve been the token Jew. Don’t feel like you need to represent the entire Australian Jewish community. In my first corporate job, I used to go to the bathroom to research Jewish festivals and rituals when my colleagues asked me questions I couldn't answer. Here’s an idea, say you don’t know and recommend others ask Google or ChatGPT. While I’m very vocal and proud about being Jewish, you also don’t need to be if it doesn’t feel safe or if you simply don’t want to.
6. On October 7 and the Gaza war: You and I know that misinformation, disinformation and media bias is downright dangerous to our community and all Western democracies. But I’ve learnt the hard way that you don’t have to be an activist in your workplace. Your colleagues may blatantly disagree with you or frankly just not care – that’s on them, not you. I highly recommend listening to the Ashamed to Admit podcast episode with Marnie Perlstein where she talks about the many ways you can engage in advocacy where it is safe and welcome.
7. If something feels off at work, it is. Don’t gaslight yourself to think otherwise. And chances are, others think the same. Don’t be afraid to address it and make sure you keep a record of your actions.
Do not wait for or measure your performance based on external validation.
8. Do not give anyone else the power to determine your self-worth. If a colleague or manager ever tells you to “just have more confidence”, know that confidence comes through learning from your mistakes (so make some!), building trust in your abilities and earning loyalty from your peers.
9. Do not wait for or measure your performance based on external validation. Feedback and acknowledgement matter, but they are not the only – and always reliable – form of measuring your growth and achievement.
10. Do not undermine yourself by chronically saying “sorry”, “does this make sense?” etc. Download the 'Just Not Sorry' chrome extension if you want to be called out when you’re writing emails.
11. Do not feel entitled. Nobody owes you a job or a promotion.
12. Network within the community and beyond. I have attended events run by the Jewish Professional Women's Network (JPWN), meet-ups at The Centre of Jewish Artists (COJA), women’s circles at Beit Midrash and have become part of a Women in Leadership group I discovered on MeetUp, where I’ve met ambitious and supportive women who share the same values as me.
13. Do not underestimate the power and influence of having a solid LinkedIn account. No matter what stage of your career you’re in – whether you’re a new grad, mature age student (I hate this name), having a quarter-life crisis or in the midst of changing your career path – I cannot overstate how imperative it is to have an active, up-to-date account.
14. If you identify as female and are thinking twice about applying for a job, remember that women are less likely to apply for jobs unless they meet every single qualification. What do you really have to lose?
Remember that everyone starts somewhere. You can be a beginner at any age.
15. If you’re still doubting yourself, know that your values, culture of thinking and behaviour are truly what determine your suitability for a prospective employer’s workplace culture. If you have any knowledge or skill gaps, a good employer should provide the right training to support you. Of course, there’s no substitute for learning on-the-job, which only happens in time.
16. If you are struggling with imposter syndrome, look up Alison Shamir. She has written a whole book on the topic.
17. Do not play down or try to contort yourself into anything that’s not you in order to fit into a workplace (I got a candy heart tattoo with the word ‘Me’ in the centre of it in New York as a reminder). An all-staff memo about my recent departure from my boss stated, “we valued her honesty and admired her ‘chutzpah’. She was never afraid to stand up for what she believed to be right. We will miss her unique sense of humour too”. I have never felt more seen. That memo made me realise that of all the things I once tried to quieten and hide, turns out this is what I’m known and appreciated for being.
18. Finally, remember that everyone starts somewhere. You can be a beginner at any age.
