Published: 27 January 2026
Last updated: 17 February 2026
For thousands of years, Jewish life has been built on the idea that “all of Israel is responsible for one another”.
That ethic has travelled with us across centuries and continents to the many excellent welfare organisations we have in our community.
This commitment to seeing and holding those at the margins sits at the heart of who we are as a community.
But the experience I have observed of neurodivergent children in Melbourne's Jewish day schools is a gap in our communal care that deserves attention.
I have watched distress be labelled as defiance. I have seen shutdowns reframed as refusal, and sensory overload treated as misbehaviour or rudeness
The first time a Jewish school told me they could no longer meet my neurodivergent child's needs, it was framed as concern. The second time, it was framed as capacity. By the third time, I understood what was happening as the conversation quietly shifted from how to support a child to how to manage an exit: exclusion.
What makes this especially confronting is how it begins. Families are welcomed under the promise that a Jewish child deserves a Jewish education. They are reassured with values statements and glossy brochures about care and inclusion.
But over time, belonging becomes conditional. You can stay if your child can comply. If they can regulate. If they can be quiet. If they do not disrupt the system.
And when inclusion collapses the moment that a child becomes "too hard," it isn't inclusion at all.
Comments11
maayan siegel1 February at 04:29 am
Thank you for writing so honestly about your child’s neurodivergence. So many parents live this every day, especially with jewish schools mishandle it and then turn around with vague “we’re all in this together” speeches. It’s exhausting and isolating, and it’s not talked about nearly enough.
Talya Bassin1 February at 01:42 am
Gabby – JCAS are wonderful, they do this training every year with every school, provide so much support but the buck stops with the schools.
Mordy31 January at 04:49 pm
Same thing happens here at the only Jewish school in Perth. Our neurodivergent son was inexplicably kicked out a few years ago. Our neurodivergent daughter was not believed when being bullied. Our other younger neurodivergent son has also been unfairly targeted. Thank you for writing this article. Something needs to ge done.
Gabby Walters29 January at 10:34 am
Today , the Jewish Children’s Aid Society( JCAS) held an education workshop for 140 special education aids at Bialik College. The workshops focussed on strategies to assist children with the above mentioned situations. JCAS will donate 1 million dollars this year to support children with special needs in Jewish day schools in Melbourne.
Malki Rose29 January at 09:48 am
Thank you ‘Parent’ for speaking out for so many parents of neurodivergent children.
I was invited to apply for a place at one of our Jewish schools for my son with the phrase “Your son DESERVES a #insert name of school# education and to be part of this community.”
Only to be advised after meeting they met with him, that “we don’t have the resources to accommodate him”.
It was lovely to hear that the school just purchased a new property recently.
Caryn Granek29 January at 06:39 am
This also happens in government schools. However the author points out correctly that more than ever all our Jewish kids need community support. Thank you for this added layer of need which I had not considered. Perhaps improved community funding could help Jewish schools provide the structures needed. Really appreciate sharing this important issue.
Lots29 January at 05:53 am
I thank this parent and TJI for naming, describing so beautifully & publishing this piece on the unspoken issue for kids who are neurodivergent. To have experienced this treatment in the way we did has left a lasting trauma for my child.
Keren29 January at 12:25 am
Well written and truthful – reflects an all too common experience in our community
Ms V F Resofsky29 January at 12:18 am
Thank you for publishing this.
It is time we as a community dealt honestly with this.
Neurodivergent children are not on the margins of Jewish life — they are Jewish life. They belong in our schools, our classrooms, our youth groups, and our future.
And the problem is not only when families feel pushed out of Jewish education.
Sometimes it is even worse when neurodivergent children remain in Jewish schools but are not met with the expertise, resources, and informed support they require to truly thrive.
A child can stay enrolled, yet spend years being misunderstood, labelled, or quietly managed instead of taught with skill and insight. That long-term impact can shape identity, confidence, and mental health for life.
Inclusion is not a slogan. It requires training, specialist knowledge, and a cultural shift.
A community built on memory, responsibility, and care cannot afford quiet exclusion — or quiet neglect.
This conversation is overdue, and it matters deeply.
Inna28 January at 10:23 pm
Not only was my child excluded weeks into his prep year, the rest of the community stands up for the school not the child. Every time I speak of my experience at the school I’m attacked and blamed for what happened. My child now attends a catholic school where he is warmly welcomed and made to feel safe seen and heard. I’m still devastated.
Shevy28 January at 08:26 pm
This is my experience, and the experience of many families I know. If we can’t properly support and care for our own children, then we are failing them as a community.