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FeatureAustralia

New Victorian law could help with Gett refusal

Victoria's new coercive-control offence cannot ensure a Jewish divorce, but it may help estranged spouses fighting for a gett
Jarod Rhine-Davis
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Portrait Of Woman Seen Through Chain Link Fence, Ionnina, Greece

Image: TJI composite Grace Alon/Ioannis Karyofyllis (Getty)

Published: 4 November 2026

Last updated: 4 November 2026

When Chana* left her husband in 2021, he still controlled a big part of her future. Without a gett, a Jewish divorce document, she could not repartner.

“He didn't want me to date. He didn't want me to remarry,” she recalls. “He sort of saw that as a way to keep me caged, it was something that he was able to hold over me.”

Chana was eventually able to obtain a gett, but for some women, and occasionally men, gett refusal can continue indefinitely. These people could be helped by Victoria's new coercive-control offence.

From March 1, 2028, coercive control will become a standalone criminal offence in Victoria, carrying a maximum penalty of 10 years' imprisonment.

A Victorian government spokesperson told The Jewish Independent that the expert advisory group helping implement the new law will consider examples such as "control in religious settings".

“Every alleged case of coercive control will be assessed individually by Victoria Police and the courts,” the spokesperson said.

A community that places such importance on marriage must also take responsibility for ensuring that people can leave a marriage with dignity and safety

Yael Hersham, Unchain My Heart

Former London Beth Din case director Joanne Greenaway has described English cases where the prospect of criminal consequence under coercive-control laws helped secure a gett after other approaches had failed.

Professor Heather Douglas AM, a Melbourne Law School expert on domestic and family violence, said gett refusal could be considered under the new Victorian law. “I would see refusal of a gett as potentially part of a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour,” Douglas said.

She pointed to Victoria's recent recognition of “systems abuse” as a form of family violence: using or misusing systems, processes or services as a means of coercing or controlling somebody.

Gett refusal as a form of abuse

Australian courts have already recognised that gett refusal is a form of abuse. In 2015, a Victorian magistrate accepted that withholding a gett, in the context of a relationship involving other family violence, constituted psychological and emotional abuse. The husband had refused the divorce unless his wife paid him a substantial sum.

Then, in the 2025 Federal Circuit and Family Court case Briedis & Saar, a father threatened in writing to withhold a gett while parenting arrangements were being negotiated. The court found he had used that power to deprive his former wife of autonomy and agency and to coerce and control her. He gave her the gett on the same day parenting terms were agreed.

Family law barrister Debbie Wiener, who spent about two decades involved with the Jewish Taskforce Against Family Violence, says gett abuse ranges from outright refusal to bargaining.

“The most basic method is just to say no, to refuse to either give or receive a gett, because it goes both ways,” she said.

More commonly, she said, cooperation can become conditional on a better financial settlement, changes to parenting arrangements or another concession. “It can be used as a form of extortion. That's probably the most common method.”

Wiener said not every delay is abusive: a spouse may simply be emotionally unready to end a marriage and later cooperate.

Yael Hersham, chair of Australian advocacy organisation Unchain My Heart, says refusal can take the form of missed appointments, repeated delays, excuses and constantly shifting conditions. “The gett becomes one of the last remaining means of exercising control over a former spouse,” she said.

Hersham says while most cases involve men refusing women, 17 per cent of those who have approached the organisation for assistance have been men dealing with a wife's refusal to cooperate.

'Kosher' pressure

Jewish law requires a gett to be given voluntarily by the husband to the wife, limiting how much pressure can be used.

“Not every single pressure is kosher,” says Rabbi Yoram Ulman, a senior dayan of the Sydney Beth Din.

However, after a formal process, a deliberate refuser can face communal sanctions, including loss of synagogue honours and, in some circumstances, social restrictions such as not being invited for Shabbat meals.

This can work in cases where someone is heavily involved in communal life. Ulman described one Australian husband who repeatedly found new reasons not to give a gett. Two weeks after sanctions were imposed, he granted the gett.

Hersham says where a refuser occupies a respected professional or communal position, the prospect that their conduct may become known to an employer, senior colleague or community network can sometimes change the calculation. She stressed that any such step must be factually substantiated, carefully considered and accompanied by safeguards.

In one exceptional case, rabbis got around a case of refusal by finding that defects in the original marriage allowed it to be treated as invalid.

Ulman said the problem was not Jewish divorce law itself but people using halachic processes for “control, revenge, extortion, blackmail”. Such behaviour, he said, should be met with “zero tolerance”.

Unchain My Heart has worked with the Melbourne Beth Din to facilitate family-violence training through Jewish Care and has trained female volunteers to support women attending proceedings.

Hersham says rabbis, rebbetzins, matchmakers, kallah and chatan teachers, families and educators all have a role in recognising early signs such as entitlement, intimidation, financial control, possessiveness. In young relationships, she said, “love bombing” can make control look like affection: constant messaging, demands to know a partner's whereabouts, jealousy and discouraging friendships.

She also wants premarital safeguards normalised. “A community that places such importance on marriage must also take responsibility for ensuring that people can leave a marriage with dignity and safety,” Hersham says.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic, family or sexual violence, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. In Victoria, Safe Steps is available 24 hours a day on 1800 015 188. In an emergency, call 000.

*Chana is a pseudonym

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About the author

Jarod Rhine-Davis

Jarod Rhine-Davis

Jarod Rhine-Davis is a Melbourne-based Jewish LGBTQ+ community leader and founder of Jewmos, a grassroots initiative creating spaces for queer Jews to connect, celebrate, and explore identity. Through his work, he advocates for inclusion and belonging at the intersection of Jewish and LGBTQ+ life. He works at The Jewish Independent, helping produce community events.

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