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HomeRead, Watch, ListenLifestyle
Sex and the ShtetlOpinionLifestyle

How do I deal with my anti-Zionist ex?

Some exes get into beard styling. Some start training for a marathon. Yours discovered anti-Zionism.
Tami Sussman
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Sex and the shtetl

“If you’re no longer in his life to validate him, someone needs to. Ideally, the stoner with a Che Guevara tattoo and a lot of opinions about Theodore Herzl” (Image: TJI).

Published: 15 September 2025

Last updated: 16 September 2025

Dear Sex and the Shtetl,
In the last few months my ex has been re-posting content from the extremely racist anti-Zionist movement  (even stuff from the people who doxxed our Australian creatives!) I have always been a proud pro-peace Zionist. Do you think he’s doing it to spite me?
Moriah Kerry

Darling Moriah Kerry,

Your anguish is palpable. I’m gathering that you didn’t just lose a boyfriend, you lost your Sunday brunch partner; the one who used to pita-polish off the shakshuka at your local Israeli-owned cafe but now accuses Jewish chefs of culturally appropriating hummus. What a way to rub salt (plus tahini, lemon juice, garlic and olive oil) into the wound.

I’m not sure if he’s doing it to spite you. In order to answer that accurately, I’d need to know if he engaged in spiteful behaviour during your relationship. I’ll have to go off general vibe, or ‘רוּחַ’ as our forbears used to say, in the region once known as Judea. You know, our Jewish ancestral homeland.

It’s most likely the case that your ex is just a man who’s been socially conditioned to become suddenly obsessed with one big idea after a breakup. Some get into beard styling. Some start training for a marathon. Yours discovered anti-Zionism.

Come to think of it; it’s textbook post-breakup behaviour. You used to be his entire emotional infrastructure. You held space for his childhood trauma and proof-read his work emails to make sure they weren’t too aggressive. Now that you're gone, he needs to put his feelings somewhere. Enter… The Cause™.

Because if you’re no longer in his life to validate him, someone needs to. Ideally, the stoner with a Che Guevara tattoo and a lot of opinions about Theodore Herzl (See earlier: beard styling).

But let’s not give your ex too much credit. He might think he’s the Chosen One, he just doesn’t realise he’s been chosen by the almighty algorithm. We can’t underestimate the seductive power of online clout. Racist Anti-Zionism (at least the TikTok version) is very on-trend. File it under “Rage Chic.”What’s a man to do when he’s constantly being served content made by other look-at-mees whose bios might as well read: I’m radical and sensitive and definitely not weaponising an incredibly complex geopolitical issue to boost my following and soothe my fragile ego?

People don’t suddenly “discover” moral outrage in a vacuum. People perform it, curate it and aestheticise it. Especially on social media. Especially if they just got dumped by a pro-peace Zionist with a sophisticated bookshelf and a stellar ass (I haven’t seen either, but I’m going off general רוּחַ here).

A scarier scenario is that your ex started out posting anti-Zionist content to spite you and has now begun to believe the propaganda. Doesn’t everyone eventually believe what they see over and over again?

That’s why you need to stop looking at the stuff your ex is posting online, lest you fall into the trap. Then untag yourself from that photo where he’s wearing your Saba’s vintage cardigan (purchased in Tel Aviv!) and block him. Next step is to soothe-scroll Ittay Flescher’s grid and follow all the peace-makers in the Middle East who are genuinely invested in ending the conflict, rather than creating division here in Australia. Grieve. Cry into your shakshuka, reach out to your aunty and nod when she says, “That boy always looked like he was low in B12”. Allow yourself to be both Zionist and emotionally unwell about it.

Remember that you are not the war. You are not the discourse. You are a person who once loved another person who now has problematic takes.

And maybe, if you’re feeling generous, you can hope that one day your ex will see nuance again. Until then? Let him waste his money on beige cafe eggs and his time designing inaccurate infographics.

With love & sabich,
Sex and the Shtetl xxoo

Send your life questions to sexandtheshtetl@thejewishindependent.com.au and get advice that will make you smile...and maybe even help.

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About the author

Tami Sussman

Tami Sussman

Tami Sussman writes for children and adults and is the author of the novel 'So That Happened … But Maybe You Already Knew That'. She's also one half of the TJI Podcast 'Ashamed to Admit'.

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Comments1

  • Avatar of Susannah

    Susannah23 September at 05:03 am

    I have a similar experience but with my mother. She posts antisemitic and anti-Zionist articles on her facebook almost daily. It got to the point where my friends were on the defence for me. Its just embarrassing for her at this point, particularly as she knows both myself and my husband are Zionists.