The engagement party: a sense of entitlement writ large

ALLAN PREISS: The attendees have expressed their regret at what they have done. I don’t believe it for a second; they regret getting caught

AS MELBOURNIANS ENDURE their sixth lockdown and Sydneysiders are increasingly concerned about an explosion of already high numbers of community transmission, I watched with increasing anger and frustration the footage of an organised pub crawl in a Melbourne suburb, and an engagement party attended by almost 70 guests.

It was the engagement party that really upset me. It was a Jewish engagement party. This is my community and it occurred where I live. As a result, there are now 15 exposure sites in my local shopping strip, including many places that I visit regularly to buy food and other supplies. The street and the shops are almost empty as people are too nervous to venture out to even buy food.

According to media reports, the party was attended by doctors, lawyers and community leaders. The groom-to-be starts off the simcha with a joke about the engagement being a therapy session, and therefore it gets around the government’s lockdown rules. The attendees think this is hilarious. 

It beggars belief that after 18 months of Covid, with people unable to visit family members in aged care facilities, kids not being able to go to school, adults unable to be with loved ones in their last days or attend their funerals, people could think that hosting or attending an engagement party was a good idea. What were they thinking?

How do we make sense of their behaviour?

Paul Piff is a professor of psychology and social behaviour at the University of California. His research examines the origins of human kindness and cooperation and the social consequences of economic inequality.