When they ask about…TikTok

‘There is nothing new under the sun,’ lamented Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) in his eponymous work in the Tanach.

The school I attended in the 1970s urged parents to ban or limit us kids from watching television, the scourge of our day that would rot our emerging minds and expose us to material inappropriate for our age. A generation earlier, in the 1950s, it was the newly emerging mass-produced comics that were the subject of intense scrutiny, with the US Congress holding hearings into the connection between reading them and the rise of juvenile delinquency. When my friend worried about her kids playing video games, her mother recalled her own parents’ anxiety about radio serials.

Today it is social media.

A few weeks ago, the Australian federal parliament became the first legislature in the world to pass laws that place severe limits on social media usage by children under 16. Despite its contentious and ground-breaking nature, it was passed amid a rush of bills legislated by parliament on its last sitting day of the year.

These new laws, which only come into effect in 12 months, will place the onus on social media companies in Australia to take steps to accurately determine the age of their users and block children under 16. The lawmakers figure if these companies, with their complex algorithms, capacity to scan usage and mine data, can figure out how to target children with content and advertising, then they have the capacity to avoid them. The legislation also indirectly puts pressure on parents and schools to give it effect.

Banning is one approach and it certainly sends a powerful signal about the potentially dark reality of social media’s effects. But as is the case with other bans in place for young people - accessing cigarettes (tobacco or vape), alcohol and getting into over-18 venues such as bars and nightclubs - they are limited in their capacity to really work. Anyone who has had or has teenagers (and increasingly tweenagers), knows how determined and wilful they can be. And that’s to our faces, let alone what they might do in stealth.

There is no doubt that we are living in a time of a mental health epidemic. The research on social media usage and the dramatic rise of depression, anxiety and, tragically, suicide rates clearly establishes the causative link between the two. Further, the time children increasingly spend on their devices (for some, hours each day) is time away from other pursuits, such as physical activity, developing skills and hobbies, socialising IRL (in real life, as abbreviated in chats), helping around the house, taking on paid work, even watching a show or film together with others that may be screen-based but is still shared.

These activities that are increasingly absent from children’s lives have potentially negative effects, ranging from declines in overall health, fitness, coordination and eyesight to decreased conversational skills and, crucially for any generation, capacity to connect meaningfully with people and to function independently and confidently.

Within the Jewish community, we have our own urgent and particular need to be vigilant about what our children are being exposed to through social media. Kids should not be viewing violent and distressing images of the Nova music festival, of hostages, of war. These platforms are giving currency to antisemitic, anti-Zionist and anti-Israel rhetoric at alarming levels and intensity, with trolls hiding behind false identities to post the kind of images and language that would make the Nazi party proud. Not surprisingly, young people report feeling unsafe about being openly Jewish online and many take steps to remove their Israel content.

If we adults are limiting our exposure to this digital tsunami, then how much more so should our children. But, of course, it’s not as simple as that. For one, children are not always aware of nor sufficiently disciplined to make wise choices about their wellbeing. Additionally, these spaces have their benefits, along with their now deeply-wired appeal. They allow for sharing (admittedly a fine line between this and bragging), learning and connecting with one’s ‘tribe’, particularly important for young people in diverse groups seeking to find one another. Plus we don’t want to be in constant conflict or acting as household police officers enforcing the law.

Digital devices are not going away, but with the passing and then implementation of these laws, the capacity of our children to sink into TikTok or Snapchat black holes for hours on end may be diminished. Beyond the legalities, with the recent attention to the issue in the media and with the summer holidays upon us, it is a good time for parents and carers to have conversations and put boundaries in place about how much time daily or weekly the young people in our orb are going to spend in cozy and exclusive relationship with their favoured device.

Ideally, these parameters are best set together, based on conversation and understanding. If the ideal cannot be met, it’s okay to pull rank. Phones stay out of bedrooms at night and times are set aside daily that are device-free. You can even experiment with a day per week for digital detox, as people are doing in increasing numbers, with Shabbat being the obvious and culturally-rich choice (if not already observed in this way). Enjoy the great outdoors and get out of range for a day or a week and all get to experience the lightness, freedom and space of life physically and digitally untethered.

The ticktock of the childhood clock moves rapidly, so doing all we can to shape and shield is imperative. Just as it has always been.