Published: 18 September 2023
Last updated: 5 March 2024
SPEEDY SHATARI reflects on the challenges of navigating religious spaces as a gender diverse person during the High Holy Days.
For the first time in my life, I am sitting in the men’s section during High Holy Days. My own seat in fact, in a Modern Orthodox synagogue.
The High Holy Days in the Jewish tradition are a time for reflection, renewal, and spiritual connection. For many, it's a period of rekindling ties with one's faith and community. Yet, for individuals who identify as gender diverse and part of the Modern Orthodox Jewish community, the High Holy Days can be a complex and challenging time.
I don’t know many gender diverse people who attend a Modern Orthodox synagogue in Australia. Many people feel or have been pushed out of these spiritual spaces. For years, I was worried to ask my Rabbi if being Jewish and LGBTQ+ was acceptable. I loved my community and feared that I would hear an answer I wasn’t ready for.
A progressive Reform synagogue is arguably the perfect place for Jewish individuals who are looking for a space that is LGBTQ+ and transgender friendly. I know a lot of friends who have found belonging and safety within the Reform community.
However, why should any Jewish person be steered away from attending a certain type of synagogue because they do not fit within a neat little box? Is that the essence of what being Jewish means?
The first time I walked back into a shul, my gaze shifted between the women's section above and the men's area ahead.
I take great pride in my Jewish identity and have been an active member of the community for many years. I also happen to identify as non-binary and transmasculine, which means my gender identity doesn't align with male or female categories. So, where does that leave me in my synagogue during these significant Jewish holidays?
For years I did everything in my power to fend off wearing a dress, which included avoiding synagogue services. As a kid, the High Holy Days used to be particularly challenging for me, often leading to emotional breakdowns over clothing. The first time I walked back into a shul was a rather comical moment as I paused in the doorway, my gaze shifting between the women's section above and the men's area straight ahead - a territory I had not ventured into since I was 12 years old.
