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A difficult choice – but my choice

TJI Pick
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Published: 23 February 2021

Last updated: 4 March 2024

Why one ultra-Orthodox woman chose to have an abortion - and how she felt about her decision

“THERE’S HIS HAND,” the doctor said.

“Look, he’s waving at us,” said my husband, and he smiled at me.

“It’s too thick,” the doctor stated.

I didn’t understand what he was saying. I thought he meant the baby was in a position that made it difficult to measure.

“We expect to see a nuchal fluid value of under two, this is over four.” He spoke calmly.

I started to understand that something was wrong.

“What does this mean?”

My only conscious thought was thank God my husband was here, holding my hand, I couldn’t survive this alone.

The doctor played around with numbers on the computer. “There is a 1 in 2 likelihood of a chromosomal abnormality. I recommend further testing.”

Downstairs in the parking lot after that horrible appointment, I told my husband: “If he’s right, and it’s allowed, I want an abortion.”

“An abortion?” my husband replied. “How can you say that? We saw him. He waved at us.”

I never thought I would have an abortion. It wasn’t that I was against abortion per se; it just wasn’t something that I personally would ever do. Living in an ultra-Orthodox community in Jerusalem, I compartmentalised abortions as belonging to a different world.

FULL STORY My choice (Tablet)
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TJI Pick

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TJI Picks are curated articles selected by The Jewish Independent Editorial team.

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