Published: 6 August 2018
Last updated: 4 March 2024
Studies have found that spending more than two hours a day on social media doubles your odds of feeling isolated, according to a study last year by the Centre for Research on Media, Technology and Health at the University of Pittsburgh. Loneliness can also have serious health consequences, and is associated with “a reduction in lifespan similar to that caused by smoking 15 cigarettes a day and even greater than that associated with obesity,” according to the Harvard Business Review.
We don’t talk to our neighbours, we don’t talk to the person sitting next to us on the bus. During any break in our day, our impulse is to whip out our phones rather than interact with another person. Drive past any bus stop and you will notice all the people staring down at their smartphones. So many missed opportunities for relationship building. Small talk leads to big talk, and if we are avoiding every opportunity for small talk, we are missing opportunities to build new relationships.
How can we reverse this trend, and return to community, to real conversations with real people, and to a sense of belonging? How can the Jewish community respond to the corrosive impact of technology on social interaction? Should we invest more funds to create more Jewish themed apps, online games, or a Netflix series, and meet people where they are?
Or perhaps, counterintuitively, we should return to what Jews have been very good at for thousands of years – building and sustaining real grassroots communities all over the world. A traditional Jewish life is a communal life – chagim, lifecycle events, Shabbat, Torah study, prayer. Life revolves around relationships and activities with the local community.
The solution to social disconnection can be found by going back to the places where people have always found belonging and relationships: in small, local groups, sport clubs, neighbourhoods, shuls, schools, book clubs, community centres, etc.
Of course, all these formats have an online presence, but at the end of the day what makes the experiences valuable are the human relationships, not the software they are using to enhance them.
In the last few years there has been an explosion of new cultural festivals, retreats and community groups, a surge of activity aimed at reconnecting people to themselves and to community, and countering the shallow experiences they are having on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
The solution to social disconnection can be found by going back to the places where people have always found belonging and relationships: in small, local groups, sport clubs, neighbourhoods, shuls, schools, book clubs, community centres.
There are some powerful examples: Limmud has swiftly expanded from its English roots to now include 83 annual events in 43 countries. Sydney was the first city outside of England to host a Limmud event. TedX Talks have also been a recent phenomenon, and Australia has hosted over 250 such events over the past eight years. Saturday morning park runs have become a hugely popular communal gathering all over the world. These are just a few examples of successful initiatives aimed at building new offline communities.
The Jewish community in Australia seems to have another conference, festival or summit every weekend. In the next month alone, we have the ZFA Educators Conference, Sydney Jewish Writers Festival, AUJS National Advocacy Summit, Social Justice Summit and the JNF gala dinner with Ehud Barak in Sydney and Melbourne. It’s a remarkable catalogue of activity, offering a myriad of opportunities to connect, learn and build community. Attending these events may be daunting, but those who step outside their comfort zone and take advantage of this high-quality programming will reap rich benefits.
I would encourage the organisers of all the events to create as many opportunities as possible for people to interact with each other. A talk fest of speaker after speaker is not enough: the magic happens when people are given time and space to start conversations and build new relationships.
Rabbi Hillel’s solution to disconnection was: “Do not separate yourself from your community.” Being a part of something bigger than just ourselves has always been a cornerstone of being Jewish. People need to find time to put down their phone, step out of their comfort zones, strike up a conversation with a stranger at a Jewish communal event and add their two cents to the discussions.
Let’s get offline more often and show up to the sometimes awkward and challenging, yet ultimately satisfying messiness of human to human interactions. That’s the secret sauce of community.
Photo: Young attendees at Limmud Oz 2018 (courtesy Limmud Oz website)
