Published: 1 April 2021
Last updated: 4 March 2024
Religion is a misogynistic structure to control society, particularly women.
I shared this sentiment with a group of older men recently and although none are halachically practicing Jews, most took great offence. I was surprised by their vociferous response and defensiveness.
Admittedly I was oversimplifying things because religion is much more than that. But at its historical core it appears to have been an effective tool for preventing anarchy and chaos. Part of that control and structure included the control of women.
As a woman in the 21st century, it’s jarring to read some of the weekly parshiot. In Ki Teitsei (Deuteronomy 22:28-29), the Bible commands that if a man rapes a virgin, he must pay her father fifty shekels and marry her.
While this was probably written to protect the rape victim from a life of ignominy and poverty, it also meant the woman was forced to live with her rapist for the rest of her life, while the rapist escaped punishment.
This edict was only relatively recently repealed in a number of Middle Eastern and African countries. A month ago (March 5), Indonesia’s top legal official suggested: “When we talk about restorative justice there is no need for the rapist to be arrested and brought to court. If we publicise the rape, the victim’s family will be destroyed. But if they (the rapist and the victim) elope, that’s a form of restorative justice, so … the victim will not be shamed by their village.”
This thinking also lies behind honour killings, which continue to this day. A woman's value is in her virginity and fertility, which are controlled by the men around her. Alarming rates of domestic violence around the world are a variation of this thinking, that a man can control a woman and her behaviour through force.
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A less extreme version of this lies in the issue of Kol Isha, the Talmudic prohibition against a man hearing the voice of a woman singing because it may be sexually arousing. Even though the obligation is for the men to not hear the women, the women are the ones whose behaviour is restricted.
A less extreme version of [this control] is the issue of Kol Isha, the Talmudic prohibition against a man hearing the voice of a woman singing because it may be sexually arousing.
This has set a broader precedent to exclude women from leading prayers, singing in front of men, and encouraging them to be modest at all times not just by their dress but also by their behaviour.
When I got married in Israel, I could bring only male witnesses to the all-male Jerusalem Beit Din to vouch for my “Judaism” and “single” status. I felt irrelevant to the proceedings while they spoke on my behalf.
There is also the ongoing saga of many women who are unable to get a halachic divorce when their recalcitrant husbands refuse to grant them freedom. While an increasing number of rabbis work with couples to put prenuptial agreements in place to protect the women, no Orthodox rabbis are able, or willing, to find a solution for this problem, which allows the man to maintain control of the woman against her will.
A real breaking point in my religious practice was trying to understand the justification for a woman being considered impure for different periods of time after giving birth, depending on the gender of her child.
A woman is considered impure for twice as long following the birth of a girl There are many interesting rationales for this, some of which are more offensive than the ruling itself.
In February, a Hamas judge ruled that an unmarried woman needs a male guardian’s permission to travel outside Gaza. Even in socially conservative Gaza people were outraged.
There is an inspiring worldwide movement of Jewish women becoming more learned in what used to be an all-male domain. It doesn’t matter whether they call themselves rabbis, rabbas, rabbanits, maharats or community members, they are bringing their ideas and experiences to what was a male-dominated space and normalising the role of women in authority in Orthodox Judaism. When these women are treated as equals, it will be harder to diminish other women and their capacity.
However, as we recently celebrated International Women’s Day, it seems like religion generally, not just Judaism, is struggling to see women as equals.
In February, a Hamas judge ruled that an unmarried woman needs a male guardian’s permission to travel outside Gaza. Even in socially conservative Gaza people were outraged at this further infringement of their already extremely limited freedom of movement.
The judge backed down under pressure, passing an amendment that said a male guardian can still restrict a woman’s ability to travel, but only if he can prove to a judge that she is at risk of “grave harm”.
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In Afghanistan, a recent ruling banned girls 12 and up from singing. Following protests, the ruling was reframed as a Covid precaution and banned all singing from males or females.
And it was only three years ago that women were given permission to drive in Saudi Arabia. Until then it was an imprisonable offence.
In Iran, women are still being imprisoned for not covering their hair. What are male lawmakers so terrified about? And why is the onus on how the woman dresses rather than the man’s behaviour?
I have immense respect for the brave women in these countries who have paid a huge price for standing up to the patriarchy that is determined to control and suppress them, often in the name of their questionable interpretation of religion.
There are many men and women fighting bravely against other forms of oppression such as female genital mutilation, child marriage, gender-based violence, polygamy, gender pay inequality, sexual harassment and many more.
In an age where there are female astronauts, prime ministers, vice presidents, judges and CEOs, it's increasingly difficult to understand why there are still so many manifestations of inequity in society.
In an age where there are female astronauts, prime ministers, vice presidents, judges and CEOs, it's increasingly difficult to understand why there are still so many manifestations of inequity in society. Covid has dealt a further blow to many women, who have shouldered the vast majority of childcare during long periods of lockdown, while still trying to work.
There seems to be a recent groundswell of recognition that girls and women shouldn’t have to face such an uphill battle. The conversations are finally starting to change, thanks to the #MeToo movement and the media. But as long as inequity continues in more traditional interpretations of religion, it will be difficult for men and women to achieve true equality.
Photo: A girl looks out from the curtained-off women's section into the male section of the synagogue in the West Bank Jewish settlement of Horasha, 2010 (Jim Hollander/EPA)
