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FeatureAustralia

Bereaved fathers to bring their heartfelt peace message to Australia

Deborah Stone
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Published: 2 May 2023

Last updated: 5 March 2024

Israeli Rami Elhanan and Palestinian Bassam Aramin are coming on a The Jewish Independent tour to spread a lesson in peacebuilding born of the deepest grief.

Smadar Elhanan was 14 when she was killed by suicide bomber in 1997. It was the first day of school and she had been shopping for schoolbooks.

Abir Aramin was 10 when she was killed by a soldier in 2007. She had just bought candy and was standing outside her school in Anata, in the West Bank.

They are among thousands of children killed in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. But unlike many other parents, Smadar’s father Rami Elhanan and Abir’s father Bassam Aramin did not allow themselves to be drawn into the cycle of anger and violence which continues to fuel the conflict.

Elhanan and Aramin became ambassadors for peace, solidifying their friendship in their shared bereavement and travelling the world advocating for an end to the conflict.

The Jewish Independent is bringing them to Australia this month for a tour which will include public events in Sydney and Melbourne, meetings with politicians, and educational sessions at schools and universities.

The Jewish Independent

The Jewish Independent publisher Uri Windt said he was delighted Australian audiences would have the opportunity to hear the two men speak.

“Very few can truly know the loss and despair Rami and Bassam have experienced, but all of us can be inspired by their remarkable turn towards forgiveness and reconciliation," Windt said.

“At a time when conflict in the Middle East seems so intractable, democracies around the globe so polarised, these two men model something quite profound: the willingness and ability to listen to the other; the pain of their people; and their dreams for the future.

“They embody peacebuilding through people-to-people engagement that builds trust and hope in the midst of a seemingly intractable conflict.

“The Jewish Independent is thrilled to be bringing Rami and Bassam to Australia to continue that conversation.”     

 “We are peace activists. We are not victims, and we refuse to live as victims.”

Bassam Aramin

For Elhanan and Aramin, who have travelled widely spreading their message of peace, the opportunity to tell their story in Australia is very welcome.

"I feel very excited to travel to Australia for the first time in my life after hearing so much about it,” Elhanan told The Jewish Independent. “My hope is to be able to open hearts and minds to our stories in a message of peace, reconciliation and ending the occupation which took away our young daughters.”

Addressing Elhanan as “Great Brother,” Aramin, added “The feeling is the same for me, too.”

Elhanan and Aramin’s stories have become an archetype for the possibility of reconciliation at a time when a political solution to the problem seems far away.

The Irish writer Colum McCann used their experiences as the basis for his novel Apeirogon, which explores the many human and environmental faces of the conflict.

Melbourne filmmaker Esther Takac documented their stories in The Narrow Bridge, a documentary about four bereaved Israelis and Palestinians who transform their grief into a bridge for reconciliation. The film will screen as part of Elhanan and Bassam’s tour in both Melbourne and Sydney.

Both men have travelled a long journey to come to their current positions. Aramin, who grew up in Hebron, was caught planning an attack on Israeli troops when he was 17 and spent the next seven years in prison. Despite the abuse he suffered at the hands of Israeli guards in prison, he also learned to see Israelis as human.

He saw a film about the Holocaust and, talking about it with a friendly guard, came to understand that there was both anger and suffering on both sides.

When he was released, around the time of the Oslo Accords, he became involved in Combatants for Peace, an organisation of former Israeli Defence Forces personnel and Palestinian fighters who now advocate for peace and a two-state solution.

It was there he met Elhanan, an Israeli graphic designer and sixth generation Jerusalemite, who had become involved in both Combatants for Peace and the Parents’ Circle, an organisation of bereaved parents advocating for peace, after his daughter Smadar was killed.

Two years after the pair met, Bassam’s daughter was shot with a plastic bullet by an Israeli soldier. Aramin joined the Parents’ Circle and the parallel experience of bereavement solidified their friendship and commitment to peacebuilding.

 “We are peace activists. We are not victims, and we refuse to live as victims,” Aramin said in a TED talk in Dubai. “We are struggling together to release the Palestinians from the occupation and to release the Israelis from their own occupation, to be oppressors.”

Elhanan said peacebuilding was the way both coped with their grief. “You have to make a decision, what are you going to do now with this new, unbearable burden on your shoulders? What are you going to do with this anger that eats you alive from within? There are only two options. The first one is obvious, when someone kills your 14-year-old little girl, you are so angry and you want to get even, which is natural, which is human, which is the way most people choose, which creates the cycle of retaliation which never stops but then after a while you start to think we are human beings. Will killing anyone bring her back?

“So, you come to the other option, which is much more difficult. Trying to understand ... and then the most important question of them all, what can you do personally?”

Get tickets for all public Rami & Bassam events in Sydney, Melbourne and Canberra.

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About the author

Deborah Stone

Deborah Stone

Deborah Stone is Editor-in-Chief of TJI. She has more than 30 years experience as a journalist and editor, including as a reporter and feature writer on The Age and The Sunday Age, as Editor of the Australian Jewish News and as Editor of ArtsHub.

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