Between Melbourne, Warsaw and Tel Aviv, where was I at home this week?

If there’s no such thing as a coincidence, then this was a particularly eerie moment. Midway between Germany and Poland, the necklace with the Star of David that I wear night and day just broke. Dropped off my neck. The clasp piece was gone and, luckily, I caught it in my hands.

It’s as if the emotional rollercoaster of being Jewish these past few weeks had taken its toll and the star was done.

I have been passing through Dubai, Tel Aviv, Berlin and Warsaw in quick succession for twelve days and, with each move, there’s an inner dialogue around being openly Jewish: Star of David over or under? In my hometown of Melbourne, I’ve kept it visible everywhere. But in these parts and being a tourist travelling alone, I have to be a bit more wary. So many people in Israel looked at me aghast, saying ‘Surely you’re not wearing that in Europe.’

When I booked this short trip, I knew it would mean being in Israel for the second anniversary of October 7 and the festival of Sukkot. But I could not have known that it would also coincide with the signing of the ceasefire - fragile though it may be - and the last of the Saturday night rallies at Hostage Square. I missed being in the country for the release of the hostages by 24 hours but sensed the growing anticipation and easing of anguish in the days leading up to it. Allowed myself to share in it too, albeit cautiously. The question of what will happen next keeps gnawing at me.

It’s a strange experience to be moving between Australia, Israel and Poland at such an intense time, amplifying the differences and dissonances. Each of these countries is a homeland or motherland of sorts.

Australia is home in the usual sense of the word; it’s where I live, work, shop, make plans, pay taxes, enjoy family, see my friends, walk my dog, travel to favourite places and centre my days. My roots here are not so deep, given my family arrived less than 80 years ago. In the grand sweep and scheme of Jewish history, it’s a relatively recent place for a Jewish community and feels remote. Until two years ago, I would have been sure that its Jewish story that extends back to the first days of European settlement in 1788 would continue in strength. Now I’m not as sure.