Dreams, nightmares and realities from a bereaved mother 

When We See You Again
by Rachel Goldberg-Polin

Rachel Goldberg-Polin admits that she is not usually interested in hearing others retell their dreams. She doubts most people remember them properly, and suspects details may get embellished in the retelling. Yet in her memoir When We See You Again she devotes an entire chapter to disturbing dreams she experienced before and after her son Hersh’s kidnapping and murder in Hamas captivity in Gaza.

Anticipating scepticism, she writes: “What I am relieved about is that with each of the following dreams I have the validation of having told someone upon awakening … so let’s make it clear for the record, I am not making these up.” 

One dream, in particular, feels impossible to shake. In late September 2023, Rachel dreamt she was standing in her kitchen when Hersh suddenly ran across the living room and out onto the porch. He grabbed the railing, propelled himself upwards, and tipped forward. She watched him fall headfirst over the edge.

“But even as I ran, I knew it was too late. He had run too fast and with too much energy. And I knew he was going to die before I could get to him.” The next morning, when she recounted the dream to Hersh, he replied, “Why didn’t you save me?” and Rachel answered, “I tried, but I couldn’t get to you in time.” 

It’s a haunting refrain in a raw and heartbreaking book written by Goldberg-Polin, about the agonising 328 days she spent trying to save her son from Hamas’s tunnels after he was kidnapped on October 7, 2023, from a roadside bomb shelter after attending the Nova desert rave party. His left forearm blown off, Hersh was kept starved, filthy and with five other hostages underground in a tunnel in Rafah for months, until he was executed by Hamas despite his mother’s agonised efforts to save him. He was returned for burial in Israel on day 330 of the war in Gaza.