‘Empathy is a muscle’

The most difficult words I heard at Limmud Oz in Sydney last weekend came from a man who is committed to improving the lives of both Israelis and Palestinians.

“Israel cares more about its narrative than the lives of its children,” Anton Goodman, Partnerships Director at Rabbis for Human Rights, told a session on non-binary conflict resolution.

Goodman’s statement comes in the context of the failure of successive Israeli governments to engage in any process to end the occupation and enable a Palestinian state.

The English-born Israeli talks regularly with young Israelis on the cusp of army service. There has been no peace process in their lifetimes. “They are all experts in explaining why there is no solution,” he said.

Goodman himself has four children, the oldest 17. “I have nightmares about my children in the army. It is irresponsible not be setting the wheels in motion for a more secure future for all of us, even if that means taking difficult decisions around it.”

Goodman says attachment to our own narratives mean we are too inclined to insist upon our own understanding of the “truth” or “facts” of the conflict, rather than listen to other narratives.

“I’m sure you hear it here all the time too. You hear people saying ‘If only they’d listen. If only they knew the facts. Then they’d understand.’ No, they wouldn’t,” he said.

Arguments about whether the Palestinian Health Ministry has inflated the number of deaths in Gaza, or whether details in reports of the Hamas massacre on October 7 are accurate completely miss the point, says Goodman.

Instead, he urges people to listen with compassion to the experiences of the other side. “Compassion and empathy are not values. They are muscles. The more you use them, the more you have the ability to use them.”