When grief needs a secret address

For most of my life in Melbourne until I moved to Jerusalem in 2018, community events were rarely printed with an address. The location would arrive in your inbox or on your phone only 24 hours before the event, shared only with those vetted and registered.

I used to think this practice was a little paranoid. But after the attempted arson of the East Melbourne Hebrew Congregation during a Shabbat meal and the massacre at a Chanukah celebration on Bondi Beach, I sadly understand why this is necessary. It is a precaution born of a deep-seated need to protect Jewish life from the scourge of antisemitism and is sadly necessary.

When I speak to friends in Australia about the necessity of hiding the location of Jewish events, they sometimes confide that they dream of moving to Israel. They imagine where I live now to be a place where they would never have to hide who they are or their political beliefs, a land where their Jewishness can be celebrated in the public square without fear.

They are mostly right, but not always.

On Yom HaZikaron, Memorial Day for Israel’s fallen, I found myself waiting for that familiar 24-hour ahead notification in order to attend the joint memorial ceremony on Monday night, a gathering of Israelis and Palestinians mourning the loss of their loved ones together.

The Parents Circle Bereaved Families Forum and Combatants for Peace were not worried about Neo-Nazis or fringe hate groups; they were worried about our own. They feared that Jewish extremists might attack the event, as they did at a screening of last year’s memorial in a Raanana synagogue, where thugs used stones and fists to disrupt a space meant for shared tears.