The friendships that don’t survive these troubled times

As the tenor of political discourse ramps up to truly untenable cacophonic shrieking, and critical thinking falls to the wayside, so too have many of my friendships. 

Some of these have ended because I wanted them to. Some have ended because my (former) friends wanted them to. Some have ended by tacit or fiery mutual agreement. 

Either way, the end of any friendship results in some sadness. Sometimes it’s the size and weight of a grain of sand and sometimes it really does threaten to overwhelm you with a wave of grief or betrayal.

As we inch closer to the one-year anniversary of this horrific new status quo, the magical power of hindsight is allowing me to focus on what I value in my friendships. And what I simply won’t accept.  It’s been a painful but valuable lesson, because I take my friendships seriously. 

Decades ago, my then boyfriend, with whom I was planning a long and loving future, made one small comment that entirely changed the nature our relationship forever. 

“I won’t get my kid vaccinated. Those diseases don’t exist anymore”. 

As someone militantly pro-vaccination (something we’ll talk about another time), this was a painful curve ball. It broke me in so many ways. The total reliance on misinformation and conspiracy theory, the privilege of thinking that these diseases don’t exist because you haven’t had one and the arrogance to think you know better than an entire medical profession.